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1.
burning out
it’s not enough to hide the misdeeds of our hearts behind the curtain
sweep the ashes of our future off the deck and out to sea
the solution is the problem
without the end there is no meaning
and we didn’t come this far to create more self-destruction
no
I don’t expect that these eyes will ever see the break of day
as more than just a sign that this will fade away
aware of all the words behind the curtain
knowing how we play uncertain
destroying light before the day
and turning this existence into ashes
I don’t expect that these eyes will ever see the break of day
as more than just a sign that this will fade away
I don’t expect to live that long to see the proof that I was wrong
or hear the lies that everything’s okay
and nothing fades away
I won’t fade away
2. into my
veins
I’d connect you to my veins
if you’d live up to your name
if you’d feed me your life
just to see if I came
and I would claim you as a spoil of war
and swear that there is nothing more
than you and I
and the lie it took to make you hang so high
and I’d expect nothing more from you
than to break my heart in two
for just a little chance of heaven
there is nothing I won’t do
I’d connect you to my veins
and you can drag me down to hell
and still convince me that I fell
for you and I
and the lie it took to make you never tell
and I’d connect you to my veins
if you’d live up to your name
I’d connect you to my veins
3. If You
Never Heal
these things I know
are reflections of myself
and you can’t call
couldn’t do that to yourself
they say I’ll never heal
they say I’ll never feel again
and I believe them
I believe them
you’re waiting for your ship to come in
like searching for the star you already watched fall
these things don’t happen twice
and if you never heal
if you never feel again
I won’t place the blame on you
I will take the shame my friend
these things I know
will never speak a sound
this silent promise
will be our only common ground
and if you never heal
if you never feel again
I won’t place the blame on you
I will take the shame my friend
4.
Existence in Neutral
did we ever pay a price for our petty lives
our pretty lies and alibis
the crimes for which we feigned remorse
the time when what was mine was yours
but you’re alive and I’m alive
so what else can we say
I’m alive and you’re alive
why did it have to work that way
these things I take to the grave
with no weight on my conscience
existence in this neutral state
far above your love and hate
these things I take to the grave
you’re alive and I’m alive
so what else can we say
I’m alive and you’re alive
but one of us won’t stay that way
and when the sun sets on the skyline
I will see our words buried
under earth will lay the ashes
into nothing you return
5. all
the human things
are you in love with all the human things
the concepts born and thrown away
do you insist despite your eyes
there’s something that I want you to say
don’t stay if it’s for my sake
don’t wake up if you’d rather die
don’t lie to yourself and pretend you don’t see
don’t be anything for me
this is the only chance you’ll ever have
to bring the world down with your voice
don’t stand still to watch the clouds part
they will close if you are silent
did you ever have goals
did you ever have dreams
tell me, was there a time you had and end to your means
it just seems so fucking sad
how you ended this way
content to be nothing
born to betray your dreams
your light is burning out
close your eyes
it won’t be long
I once told you to hold on
now I realize I was wrong
give up
are you in love with all the human things
the tangible, trivial days
do you insist despite your heart
there is something that I didn’t say
did you ever have goals
did you ever have dreams
tell me, was there a time you had and end to your means
it just seems so fucking sad
how you ended this way
content to be nothing
born to betray your dreams
your light is burning out
close your eyes
it won’t be long
I once told you to be strong
now I realize I was wrong
give up
6.
Through This
don’t expect me to cry for you
as if your pain was my pain too
nothing beats beneath my chest
my blood runs cold
and this is getting old
like you
just go
I can’t feel but I can fake it
and if it hurts I will still take it
and I’ll make it through this like I always do
without you
don’t expect me to hold your hand
pull you from your broken land
I much prefer to be
far from what you’d ever want from me
the clock’s ticking on our lives
and I’ve been lying all this time
I’ve got something on my mind
but you won’t find it in my eyes
I’ve never been good at this
if I could feel then I would miss you
more than this existence kills you
more than all the hate that fills you
7. Now
these days hold all the glory that you’ll ever know
you pray for change for your whole life and let the beauty of the moment go
you hope to have a face one day but have no means to form expression
and when you suffocate on this you won’t exist to learn your lesson
I don’t want to live my life to think there’s something more
I touch the things I want to feel
if it burns me then it’s real
I don’t care if you define your life by what you do not have
but I can’t live my life that way
there’s so much more I have to say before I say goodbye
there is nothing more than what exists before your eyes in this moment
and this moment breathes for you alone
this sunset burns for you alone
no change could burn it brighter
no new horizon could keep it in the sky forever
there’s a part of me you never knew
the same thing could be said for you
I have no desire to try
to hold my past or live a lie
there are words you will never speak
people you will never meet
heights to which you’ll never climb
and all your dreams will fade away in time
there is nothing more
now is all we have
8. I never
was
I want an enemy like you
I want to lie until it’s true
I’ll trade this life for something new
if that means I can blame it all on you
you want to run away from this
detach yourself from what you’ll miss
you’d trade this life for one last kiss
anything for instant bliss
I don’t think you know me now
and I don’t think you ever will
you live your life moving on
but you are always standing still
fighting tides of burden
red from all the lives that you once wore
you pealed away your human face
and I don’t know you anymore
they say everything must die
apply that now to you and I
these things you hold are in the past
and you know why they didn’t last
it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t our time
it’s not like life came with a perfect design
there’s one person to blame and you know it’s not me
I’ll give you one fucking guess who that person could be
I owe you nothing
I don’t owe you anything at all
how am I the enemy
by design or destiny
this is want life was meant to be
and you thrive off the tragedy
you can say it’s my fault if that helps you to sleep
or just choke on the secrets that you made me keep
you were afraid of me then and you’re afraid of me still
you want to see through me but you never will
9. the
saddest sound was you
another phone call
another life lost to the monster I’ve become
I try to break apart from myself
I try to believe there is a better part of me
the half that used to do these things
tries so desperately to die
I want to let it die
will you let it die
and pretend that I have changed
another phone call
another chance to prove I’ll never kill again
this has to be worth something
can’t a man like me hope to find redemption in the end
I walk on water
always staring at the holes nailed through my feet
I know I’m sinking
I always knew these wounds would be my ending
I don’t have any strange delusions
I won’t receive what I deserve
I know the past is close behind me
but please believe me that I tried
Please believe me that I tried
I want to let it die
Please believe me that I tried
Will you let it die
And pretend that I have changed
10.
Somewhere
it feels like things are never changing all these years
and I’ve been here
not lying still
but trying to move past the ever growing walls
so many questions but there’s no one here to ask
and it’s hard to keep on breathing when I wear this mask
tell me this is going somewhere
anywhere, I really don’t care
as long as it’s far away from here
and you believe in things you’ve never seen
you pray to worlds you’ve never gone
all this time spent trying to believe you know what’s going on
and I’m just trying to believe in myself
is there a time for me when I can laugh
louder than I’ve laughed before
is there a time for me when I can cry
when you’ll do more
no, things don’t change
I know myself too well to think I’m not the same
I’m not the same
things don’t change
11.
Judas kiss
a heart has no place in the hollow inside
the ribs form a cage for the face that has escaped
just a fantasy that me and I were never separated
where’s that part of me that left me here to die
I wish I had the words for this
the hollow of my Judas kiss
the silver that was paid in full
to make my fall so pitiful
the man I’ll always fail to be
the empty cage inside of me
and I have brought this on myself
this cross I carry into Hell
this whole that I have dug so deep
the secrets I alone must keep
in the hollow of my heart
I fucking wish I had the words for this
the hollow and the emptiness
the silver that was paid in full
to make my fall so pitiful
the man I’ll always fail to be
built this cage inside of me
and I have brought this on myself
this cross I carry into Hell
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