|
1. The Isolation of a Realist
one day this will be all that's left
the infinite sea, the drowning sand
and there will be no me
there will be no memory
and the hole you've dug for yourself
will fill with water
until that too dries
and this world becomes nothing more
than a moon encircling a star
blinking in a sea of black
amongst the others, so insignificant
this fading star
what we say
and who we are
so why should it matter
what I'm doing with my life
how can you be disappointed
when we all live in this lie
leave me in my isolation
just leave me here to die
this will be all that's left
and you can never tell me why
2. Everything to Everyone
is it in your eyes or in your heart
in your voice or in your brain
in the words you said to me
or am I drowning in the rain that is your wake
the water curls around my neck
choking me so I can see
this everything in it's totality
I feel the sand beneath my hands
I'm digging holes in ocean floors
of metaphors scratched out on skin
stop breathing and I'll pull you in
to burning words in whispered ears
to chemicals to drown your fears
so sterile in your crown of thorns
one tragedy and you're reborn
I want to be everything to everyone
I know you don't understand
this isn't who you think I am
who do you think I am
please hear me through one last time
I can't say that you should
but you don't have to speak
your reply is understood
if you every had dreamed
that all this would unfold
in the act we call life
in the morals we've sold
would you do it again
just to feel and to breath
would you be here my friend
would you wish this on me
3. I Am Here
I understand your helplessness
you stand shrouded in the shadow
of a world bigger than you
looking for anything to get you through
I am here to lie to you
I am here to break the fall
I live only to deny you
I am here to end it all
I'm possessed by hopelessness
still you look to me for truth
but you can't even understand
the insignificance of you
I am here to lie to you
I am here to break the fall
I live only to deny you
I am here to end it all
4. Winter Current
I can see your face electric
burned in my eyes like the sun
and now it's just a force of habit
to see the light and run
they can't leave if I am frozen
these eyes won't shut if I am stone
I'll breath in till the water fills me
so you won't drown alone
I can hear your voice electric
ringing on long after you
and now it's just a force of habit
to never see things through
they can't leave if I am frozen
these eyes won't shut if I am stone
I'll breath until the water fills me
so you won't drown alone
in this current
it will take me out to sea
5. Stillborn
abandon everything
dissolve in to the silence
conceived here just for you
abandon everything
the stillborn future only we will know
and there'll be no one left to comfort you
I have shattered all the bones I can
in my head and in my hands
punishing myself for guilt that should be yours
6. Blank
I take myself to this place
every year on every year
and they are always here
they never leave
there are three-hundred and sixty-four days
that I can throw away
drown out my sorrow
and forget all the things my head replays
I've stolen it all
it's nothing to fall
nothing to fall over again
let's start over again
let's take it all out
I will open this skull if it takes me all night
find the piece in my mind where the shame of it lies
I will carve it out
and when I re-stitch the skin on my newly blank head
I won't know all those times I'd have been better off dead
I've stolen it all
it's nothing to fall
nothing to fall over again
let's start over again
let's take it all out
in my mind
my horrible mind
but there are three, six and five
that one day that comes back
every year I build this trap
and I drive out, just to brush off some dirt
pretend this has meaning
pretend I don't hurt
7. Silent
Jennifer, I've missed you for a long time
and now it seems I always will
you understand now, we'll never meet again
not like this at least
and I don't remember what excuse I gave
but now it seems so lame, whatever it was
and my mind will hold in these rooms
crystallized with ghosts of you
so I can think that I will still be welcome
will you welcome me as a friend
and still when the conversation ends
tell me that you'll be okay
you tell me that you'll be okay
send my love to those you see
please remember them to me
and I will keep your name alive
through my words and in my eyes
for what it's worth
if anything
8. The Blind
shine the light into my eyes
blind me with your ignorance
show me every failure
every tragedy I've caused
shine the light into my eyes
so I can see that I have you down
if you're the only one that matters
I guess I can't complain
shine the light into my eyes
tell me how I have to change
show me how I had it better than you
and how I'll never know your pain
shine your light in my blind eyes
it doesn't help, I still can't see
tell me why I even try
if you'll always be better than me
with my head beneath the ground
I can see it all so clear
I will always let you down
but I will always be here
shine the light into my eyes
show me color in this grey
paint the world around me picture perfect
so there is nothing I can say
shine your light in my blind eyes
it's doesn't help, I still can't see
tell me why I even try
when you'll always be better than me
have I made my mark on this grey world
shone a light into the heart of the things I've left behind
I want to go back
you know I do
but I can't change what happened to you
and I can't carry this cross any longer
I built it with my own two hands
I sealed it with my lack of strength
and I collapse beneath it's weight again and again
with my head beneath the ground
I can see it all so clear
I will always let you down
but I will always be here
9. Beneath the Sand
all the people slip away
despite connections I have formed
in my struggle to be human
I feel more and more deformed
and I wish I could believe that this will change
suddenly the sun might shine
on all the meaningless actions we play out
oh let it fall
let it melt me into glass
and shatter me to sand
that's all I am
that's all I'll ever be
take your pride and foolish ego
and choke on the time they stole
they've occupied your whole existence
but they have never made you whole
and I wish I could believe that you will change
suddenly your sun might shine
on all the meaningless actions we play out
oh let it fall
let it melt me into glass
and shatter me to sand
10. Exit
if you have come as far as this
on broken legs and open wrists
bleeding out in search of bliss
I am the exit
I am control
I am the exit
I make you whole
it's never going to fade with time
the pain you built upon this rhyme
if you want out give me a sign
I am the exit
I am control
I am the exit
I make you whole
the blame will be assigned
but you'll leave that all behind
when the pieces of your mind fall like tears
I am the exit
11. The Other Side of the World
you only do this for the show
so everyone will know
just how much you're affected
you want everyone to see
this means more to you than me
so you won't be neglected
no, you won't be neglected
you god damn egomaniac
this is not about you
this is not your funeral
we'll all survive without you
I've got a secret for you
between me and our friend
and now he won't be telling
so it's mine until the end
and this is not about you
no, this is not about you
the sun may never shine as bright
but it's still burning through the night
it's just gone out of view
strange how the world revolves around you
did you ever ask yourself why we all moved along
why you were left behind still singing the same song
it's "me and me and me and me"
there's so much more in this world that you will never see
and this is not about you
no, this is not about you
the sun may never shine as bright
but it's still burning through the night
it's just gone out of view
strange how the world revolves around you |
